The Very Short and Infamous First Half of King Galbatorix's Life
by Glenshadow9
Summary: This is basically the abbreviated version of the early days of Galbatorix the Rider before he became king. Off-hand unchecked writing, both writing and imagination on the rampage, you get the general idea from the cover. Btw I was thinking of officially killing this fic... What do you say?
1. Betrayal

So hais again! :) This time I've tried my hand on a bit of humour, though I kinda think it didn't turn out so well. :/

I just realised all my stories are tragic or boring or generally depressing, so I wanted to do something brighter...

Right now I'm being piled with a crapload of homeworks and exams and projects as usual so I don't think I'll be updating any time soon. So this time I'm also writing in very short chapters. Sorry if you find it annoying.

Anyway - here it is, and I dearly hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. ;3

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**1. Betrayal**

Long, long ago – _obviously_ – in a small town of Alagäesia, there lived a boy by the name of Galbatorix – now say_ DUHH_ –.

One day, there is his town, a Rider arrived aback his young Dragon of gold scales, his bronze sword Naegling upon his hip. Within his saddlebags there lay new hope and part of a new generation, of yet unhatched dragon eggs.

– And now let forget us our flourishes and formalities. This story is not about those. THIS, is a story of crude languages and humour.

Now Oromis the Rider slid off the back of his golden Dragon Glaedr, before all those gawking townsfolk. He produced three dragon eggs from his saddlebags and banged them down on a large wooden table from the Town Hall so hard that the table legs went out flat under the table.

'I've always wanted to try that. My old mentor told me they're unbreakable,' the young Rider giggled.

Among the awed and gawking crowds stood a tall boy with frizzy pink hair.

Young Galbatorix was the smart handsome boy who lived in a small house a little ways from the Town Hall, with his two proud parents and bossy old sister. His mother taught him to read and write, and his father taught him to manage his house and money. The town Priest considered him blessed by God, and predicted him a future of greatness. He had many loyal friends all around town, and many a gay girl pining after him, yet none of those who caught his fancy or sparked a flame within his cold young heart. (What he didn't mention was that he had fangirl-phobia.)

Now Galbatorix, along with the other youths from the town who were come of age, lined in a row before the table to each attempt to hatch a dragon egg. As always when lining up, Galbatorix was pushed to the front by his many friends who all made way for him to pass. At the very front of the line, he stared down uninterestedly at a huge dull-brown egg the colour of mud.

He experimentally poked it with his middle finger, and when it ignored him he gave a relieved sigh and turned away. He hated dirty stuff.

The next egg-in-line was bright orange with black stripes. Galbatorix took one look at it and fled. He skipped to the next line and queued behind a tall lanky boy whose name he did not know, nor did he care. He hated people who were taller than him, because they stared down their big long noses at him.

The tall boy stepped away with a relieved expression, and Galbatorix took his place.

Ah. Now _there's _an egg worth hatching.

There sat a gorgeous egg, its great arcing shape in a perfect egg-shape, its shiny surface smooth and flawless. Its iridescent shell was the loveliest shade of bright pink he had ever seen, with delicate wisps of white smoke and bright purple spots like dainty clumps of pansies in a spring field. Its peak was elegantly pointed and reflected the hazy blue sky in a great curved dome so that the whole surface of the egg seemed to be painted with a breathtakingly beautiful panorama. _Like an Easter egg, _thought Galbatorix dreamily.

_It's hideous. Whose egg is that? _Glaedr commented to Oromis. The Rider shrugged sheepishly.

Just that one brief moment with the Egg, and young Galbatorix knew it was the right egg for him.

He slowly leaned forward and brushed the tip of is long pointed nose on the top. It pompously ignored him.

This time he gave the Egg a sharp rap with his bony knuckle. It produced a clear, ringing note, but otherwise gave no reaction whatsoever. Galbatorix glared at the amiably-sat egg with clenched teeth. The Egg _had _to hatch. It was his, and he knew it. There was no other possible probability. It simply _had _to and _will _hatch.

He stood glaring at the Egg for a long while, willing it to hatch, but it simply sat there and impudently ignored his efforts. After a very long while, Oromis uneasily cleared his throat, and young Galbatorix reluctantly turned away, devastated and heartbroken at the Egg's cruel betrayal.

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Thanks a lot for reading! I just hope I can update before the end of next month.

Please tell me what you think. Flamers are welcome too, I'd enjoy reading anything other than textbooks right now, but no serious cussing if possible.


	2. Escapade

Hais! :) So yaayy, I actually managed to write a new chapter in... what, two days? I guess short chapters do have their benefits.

Anyway here's the new chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. ;)

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**2. Escapade**

That night, the Rider Oromis was woken up by a most peculiar noise. It sounded like a mixture of squeak-jumbled-snorts, coming from somewhere in his enormous mound of fluffy saddlebags piled in the middle of the small inn room. He would have liked a bigger room or even a royal suite, but unfortunately this was the only inn in the whole town. Glaedr had consented to sleep on the roof of the Town Hall, since there wasn't any other space he could fit comfortably in, without being too much in the town people's way.

Oromis got up from his squeaky bed with a mattress that sounded like a hysteric fangirl and gave a big yawn, stretching like a rheumatic cat. He slowly walked to his pile of saddlebags.

_Why do you need so much stuff, anyway? _Glaedr growled across their mental link as Oromis rummaged through a mass of bathrobes, face towels and bedroom slippers. _They aren't light, you know. And why would your hair tonic squeak?_

_You have a point. _Oromis abandoned the saddlebag and reached for another one. He shovelled mounds of socks and sweatshirts and jerseys out, then gave an exasperated loud snort and turned the bag upside down. _Nope. Nothing in there either._

Glaedr watched through the window with interest from atop his perch on the Town Hall roof as pillows and bolsters and underwears flew up in the air. He even thought he spotted a pair of skiing boots and an oxygen tank. He decided not comment on it.

Glaedr waited for a very long while as Oromis continued on his escapade through his mountainous saddlebags, listening to the endless shuffling noises. A pair of fluffy polkadotted bedroom slippers fell out the window. There was a pause in the shufflings as Oromis wheeled, stared wildly out the window and swore. _That was my favourite pair! _He cried. Then he shrugged and continued his search.

At long last Oromis gave a satisfied _Ah _that roused Glaedr from his nap.

_Did you find it? Let me guess; it's an egg._

_WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME A LOT OF EFFORT!_

_You never asked._

_Do I need to!?_

_Besides, I was rather interested on what was inside your saddlebags that made them so heavy._

_Argh. This is nothing, really. Just my daily necessities._

Glaedr suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. _So… Which egg is it? _He asked in an exasperated tone.

_The pink one. I really wonder where this came from. Were there any purple dragons I know of?_

_Kialandi's? You know, that elf-Rider with the big purple dragon-what's his-name?_

_Ahh, yes, _Oromis nodded slowly. _But he never had – _

_Exactlyy. No sane dragon would ever want to court a howling purple cabbage. So drop it. Anyway – shouldn't you be attending to the egg? I wouldn't be surprised if it's already hatched._

_Okay, okay. And it hasn't hatched yet._

_How is it?_

_… Not very active. No wait – now it is._

Now Glaedr had to fight the overpowering urge to facepalm. _You should help it. Don't you have a sledgehammer somewhere in your saddlebags?_

_Ahh yes, I think I do. Yes, I have several._

_Put them to use for once, then._

_Master said dragon eggs can't be broken._

_Then how would the dragon come out of the egg?_

_Oh._

_Exactly._

_But… if the egg _did _break, wouldn't that kill the hatchling inside?_

Crack.

_I _told _you to hurry up. Now look what you've made the poor hatchling do, _Glaedr growled.

_What? It looks perfectly fine to me._ The tiny hot-pink dragon squeaked loudly in protest of the termite-infested floor, licking off the membranes that encased it. It sniffed around interestedly at Oromis's saddlebags.

'Hey! Not that one! Those are my books! And don't you _dare _touch that one. Those are _my _crisps,' Oromis cried, snatching the saddlebags out of the dragon's way. The pink dragon snorted and stared up at the Rider with wide, interested eyes. _Which brand? _It said. Glaedr choked on his tongue.

The dragon's rose-coloured eyes narrowed. _You're not my Rider. Who are you? Where's my Rider?_

Oromis and Glaedr exchanged perplexed glanced through the window. Neither of them knew.

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Hmm, that might have turned out a little longer than the previous chapter. Oh, well. I hope I'll soon have time to write full-lenght chapters again. And very sorry to anyone who's patiently waiting for me to update my other stories, but I probably won't be updating anytime soon... :/

Please review and tell me what you think. ;)


	3. Four-and-Twenty Riders

Hais! Sooo, I've finally managed to make my reluctant laptop cooperate and update. Sorry to all of you who were hoping I'd be updating my other stories instead, but they really do take an unreasonably long time to write, especially when you're almost dropping off whenever you actually find the time to sit facing the computer screen.

So here it is, Chapter Three to my easy-written parody-make-do. Hope you enjoy it. ;)

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**3. Four-and-Twenty Riders**

The very next day, the search for the baby dragon's Rider began. Oromis went around each house asking for young men and women who were come of age, asking the dragon if that was its Rider.

But the pink dragon turned down everyone Oromis managed to visit in the morning – which was not many, because at each and every house she visited there was a great deal of excitement –, albeit with some pleased humming each time a door was opened by a young woman or girl who excitedly squealed and rushed about the house screaming that the most adorable pink dragon she had ever seen was at the front door.

By noon Oromis gave up and simply went up to the village Chief and asked him to summon every young person in the village. _Why didn't you do that in the first place? _Glaedr asked him sleepily from his perch on the rooftop, a huge yawn punctuating each word. _Wait – stop right there, I'm coming down._

_Noooo! Don't! Can't you see I'm right in the middle of savouring my onion-jalapeño bagel?_

_Where'd that come from? The saddlebags again?_

_Obviously. I'm vegetarian. I am protein-intolerant._

You're _made of protein. You, me – we're all big lumps of protein._

_Aaaarrghh!_

Glaedr sighed. _You'd better hurry up. And tell me when you're finished._

_Sure. I will. After I've had my fill of that famous papaya soda they're selling here. Apparently they only have it in this area – that's why I volunteered to come here in the first place._

Glaedr did not bother to answer. He just growled.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Later that day, young Galbatorix was roused from his love-depression by a rude bang on the front door. He stumbled down the stairs to get it.

'Hey! That Rider just summoned everyone down to the town square again. I think you'd better come, too.'

Galbatorix quickly got dressed, his heart fluttering in suppressed excitement, flattening down his frizzy hair with hairgel. He did not bother to tell his mum where he was going, but simply shot through the front door and down the dingy town streets. 'Hey! You forgot your shoelaces!' His mum called after him. Then she shrugged and went back to batting a beef chop with her wok.

In the town square, Glaedr sat with his long fingers splayed out over a manhole beside Oromis who had finally finished his bagel and soda. Twenty four youths from the day before and lots of other nosy neighbours crowded the tiny clearing. "We're squished like sardines in a can," someone complained. "Make way for the young'uns!" Someone else shouted.

The young men and women lined up in a ragged line and began to take turns winning the baby dragon. Oromis happily cradled the baby dragon in his arms while he hummed Kara.

The pink dragon raised her small triangular head and stared up at Oromis with a mildly bewildered expression. _I prefer Big Bang, _she commented.

_I like The Beatles, _Glaedr said rather sheepishly. _At least you can understand the lyrics._

The pink dragon snorted. _Then you're outdated, _she told him flatly. _Most of them died a while ago, in case you haven't noticed._

_ How'd you know that? _Oromis asked, surprised._ You were literally born yesterday._

The dragon pompously ignored him, and then it was Oromis's turn to stare as she sang;

_Four and twenty black-birds baked in a pie_

_When the pie was opened the birds began to sing_

_Wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?_

_The king was in the counting house counting out his money,_

_The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey,_

_The maid –_

She never got to finish her song, because at that moment she was interrupted by an ear-splitting scream issuing from the girl next in line.

"Oh my goodness _oh my freakin god_! You are totally _adooorablee!_" She immediately began to pile Oromis with questions. "Where did he come from? What's his name? What's his favourite treat? Does he like jerky? Wait – I think I have some here." She jammed her hand into her pink bag and pulled out an oily plastic bag.

"Here," she said. "You'll like it." She tore off a tiny piece and shoved it towards the dragon's face. The dragon sniffed it. _Doesn't smell too bad, _she remarked. _Perhaps a little snack… wouldn't hurt? _She glanced up at Glaedr with round, innocent eyes.

_Go ahead, _he sighed.

The baby dragon snapped the piece of jerky off the girl's fingers. She jumped back a few feet, then immediately rushed back up again. "Awwh, don't be so meeean. I _know_ you're a little sweetheart. Don't be afraid, I'd never hurt you. Come to mama, sweetiepie," she cooed, her lips puckered. She tentatively reached out and stroked the dragon under her chin.

_Watch out there, I'm gonna throw up, _Glaedr said.

The baby dragon purred as the girl's fingers reached a particularly effective spot. _It's not bad not having a Rider, really, if I get to do this every time._

_You're a Rider's dragon, you _need _a Rider, _Oromis told her.

"Pleeease can I have him? He's just so _adorable._ I can't _bear _to leave him here with all these unprofessional people. Anyway I'm quite sure this _is _my dragon."

Oromis shared a glance with Glaedr.

"Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?"

_I hate cherries, _Glaedr said.

_That's made it, then, _said Oromis. "No, you can't, not unless the Dragon chooses you," he told the girl.

"What do you mean? Of _course _he's mine! How can he not be? You are, aren't you?" The girl asked the dragon. "Of course you are. Anyway you can't talk." She turned round on Oromis without waiting for an answer. "This is unlawful! How can you refuse a Rider her dragon by telling her she needs approval from an illiterate animal? There _is _no such thing! I know why you don't want to give him away. I understand, it's hard, he's so adorable. But you already have your own dragon and you can't have another one just because you like him better. You're such a greedy fool. He's mine, I tell you, and I'm taking him back to where he belongs whatever you say." She glared at Oromis and made a grab for the dragon.

At that moment Glaedr felt the dragon's temper blow up, and she suddenly released a bolt of brilliant-pink flames.

The girl screamed – really screamed, as if the world was at an end.

When the smoke cleared, she stood in the centre of the square, hair singed and still smoking. Her bag was burned down to ashes. Her clothes hung in charred tatters.

Glaedr wrinkled his nose as the smell of burnt hair wafted over to him.

The girl screamed at Oromis. "_Look _what that monster did to me! Take that thing away from me! It deserves to be _drowned_ for all I care! It should have been killed at _birth_! Ugh! It's a hideous creature!" She spat at Oromis and the baby dragon, then ran away down the street howling.

The eyes of every young man followed the bawling young woman in her partly-disintegrated undergarments as she pelted across the square.

_Pervs, _growled Glaedr, his gaze fixed intently on the girl's missing top.

The pink dragon snorted.

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Yup, that's definitely longer than the previous one. I just hope it doesn't keep getting longer and loooonger till I need ages to write each new chapter... :/

Why am I going all vague and depressed? xD

Oh, well. Please review and tell me what you think. ;) And please do point out any mistakes I might have missed - that is if you can take the time and trouble to - because I'm pretty sure there are some, and if you have you have my most gracious thanks for any kind of comment.


	4. Gedwëy Ignasia

So hais there, long time no see. xD

I'm supposed to be studying now for my finals next week but it's seriously getting on my nerves so I'm gonna take a break. There's nothing like writing uncomplicated stories to ease your stress without being found out. I mean, I'm still sitting in front of my computer, that's that. x)

Aand so basically here's my latest, and I'm afraid it hasn't got much humour as the previous chapter, just stress-writing the way some people stress-eat-which-I-think-is-ridiculous but I won't comment on that because different people have different interests - or so I tell myself to think. :/

Enjoyy. ;3

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**4. Gedwëy Ignasia**

_Hmph, _the pink dragon said. _That, is what comes from insulting a lady._

_I think it's got more to do with calling a female dragon He, _Oromis stated.

_That's part of the package, _said the dragon.

_Hey look, _said Glaedr.

The crowds had somewhat lessened after the girl's monumental departure, for most young men and several women took off after her from a distance. In the midst of chaos and uproar, there was one boy who stood paying no heed to the chaotic ongoings. He simply stood in the centre of the square where he had been lining behind twelve others before the line dissolved, staring at the baby dragon with such rapturous joy and adoration that she squeaked in surprise.

_Hell yes! _She shrieked, and rocketed out of Oromis's arms. She half flew, half ran across the square to the tall boy. Oromis ran forward to catch up to her.

'What's your name?' He asked the boy still standing rooted to the spot. The pink dragon excitedly pranced around his heels, rubbing her head on his boots possessively.

'Galbatorix,' said the boy, looking both overjoyed and bewildered at the same time. He stiffly bent down to pat her on the head. There was an explosion of pink light. He yelped and fainted.

So did the dragon, and then she immediately scrambled up again, looked at Galbatorix and started panicking. _Ohmygoodness are you all right what did I do to you hey wake up! _She stared frantically at Glaedr, ignoring Oromis. _What's happened to him? Why is he not answering me? What just happened to both of us? Is it my fault? Don't tell me it is. What did I just do to him? Oh my goodness I feel terrible. Oh my goodness oh my god what –_

Glaedr shut her out. She barged through his barriers and started assaulting him again. _You're so rude! I'm _begging _you for help here. What's wrong with him? Why isn't he waking up? Oh PLEASE tell me. What have I done? Why aren't you answering my questions? Don't you _dare _ignore me again or I swear in the name of –_

'I have a headache,' said Oromis.

_Hey that's my line._ Glaedr opened his mind again. _O__kay now calm down, you're not giving me enough space to answer you. You see, I –_

Galbatorix woke up with another yelp.

'Welcome to the Order, Galbatorix,' said Oromis. Galbatorix stared at him blankly.

_What he meant to say, _asserted Glaedr, _is that you're now a Rider, in case you haven't noticed. Now look at your palm._

Galbatorix took one look and yelped again. He stared at his palm – blinked, blinked again – and ran swearing down the town square.

_I _told _you something was wrong, _said the pink dragon.

_Actually I don't think so. He reacted so there must be a Mark on his palm – what-do-we-call-that-again Geywed-something, _Oromis told her.

_Gedwëy Ignasia? _Glaedr supplied.

_Ahh, yes. I think it was something like that._

_Then why is he cussing like that? _Please _don't tell me he doesn't like it, _the pink dragon fretted. _If he doesn't I am so totally gonna kill myself. I did my best, but maybe it was too plain for his liking. Maybe he'd have liked something else? Maybe, maybe… I don't know. What do you think he'd have liked? _She asked Glaedr.

_I'm lost here. Am I missing out on something? What are we talking about again?_

Galbatorix ran several rounds and came back.

'So, as Glaedr said, you should be having the… what was that again?'

_Gedwëy. Ignasia._

'Yes, that. You should have that on your palm right now… am I mistaken?'

_No, you're not, _said Glaedr.

'Umm, what does it look like?' Galbatorix asked uncertainly. He stared down at his palm.

_A large white oval in the middle of your palm. It glows, _Glaedr told him before Oromis could open his mouth.

'Is… this it?' Galbatorix held out his hand uncertainly.

Oromis gaped, wide-eyed. Glaedr's jaw dropped.

_Holy porcupines._

_What in the name of venison stew?_

The pink dragon stared down at the ground, looking miserable. _No one likes it. What have I done?_

'It's… _nice_,' said Oromis slowly. Glaedr busied himself on putting his jaw back.

'So… I take it this is _not _normal?' Galbatorix said, sounding a little alarmed and slightly pink in the face.

_No, _said Glaedr flatly.

They all stared down at the hot pink kiss-mark on Galbatorix's palm.

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Ta-daa. Pretty short, I know, but this is about the best I can do right now. :/

Oh, well. See you during the holidays again, hope you enjoyed it, and please review. ;)


	5. Concerning Names and Chocolate Eggs

Hais! :D

So, school's finally over, it's holiday month again! Hurrahh!*throws pink flowers*

Now there's absolutely NOTHING to stop me from updating my chapters, I will. - No, actually this chappie was written a while ago, it just needed the double-checking I didn't have time for. :/ I suppose this is just to keep it running while I try to write a decent new chapter for my other fics...

Whatever. Apparently the word 'holiday' doesn't equal to 'free time' for me. I really can't get why I'm still busy when there's nothing I have to do that I can think of. :Z I still have my dammed over-due project and a plane to catch tomorrow... *sighs* xL

So here's my new chappie, though I kind of think it's turning more into a sort of role-play.

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**5.** **Concerning Names and Chocolate Eggs**

_So… What do you want to name your Dragon? _Glaedr asked Galbatorix after a while.

'Oh yes, right. You should be naming your dragon now. We need to call her _something_,' Oromis piped in.

'I don't know… What do _you _want to be called?' Galbatorix looked down at the pink dragon.

_Bella._

Glaedr coughed – which turned out as an extremely weird half-growl, because he'd forgotten the fact that he was a dragon.

'Anything else?'

_Oh, you don't like that? Hmm, okay then, Renesmee._

_I _hate _her, _Glaedr growled.

_Shut up. It's _my _name._

'Where'd you get that name from? Any other names? Something easier to say, maybe?'

_Awwh. I really like that name. How about… Luka?_

'That's a boy's name.'

_Really? Weirrrrd._

'What's weird?'

_Whatever. Now _you_ think of something else._

'Okayy, do you… like fruits?'

_Obviously not._

'Why not? They're nice.'

_I'm starting to reconsider my choice. Is my egg still here? I can superglue it back together myself._

'Sorry, sorry. Okay, how about… Peach?'

_I hate that colour. It's too pale. Besides, I hate furry fruits. I hate any kind of fruit._

Galbatorix thought for a while. 'Dragonfruit. You can't deny _that_'s bright-coloured.'

_Dragonfruit? Hmm… - Wait, did you just call me a dragon _fruit_?_

_Would. You. Stop. Thinking of fruits? _Glaedr growled. _I will _not _have any dragon named after a product of –_

_Hey watch it there, _Oromis interrupted. _Unsuitable ears listening here. Besides, some dragons and Rider's swords are named after flowers, you know. How different is fruit from flowers?_

_You're being unusually bright today. What's gotten into you?_

_You… What's _wrong_ with being more intelligent than usual? That's so mean of you!_

_Maybe it was just my imagination, because now you've gone back to normal again._

_How can you be so meeeean? _Oromis started to bawl.

_Hey! You two. Shut. It. When am I going to get my name? And stop that bawling, it's getting on my nerves._

Both Oromis and Glaedr immediately quieted. _Sorry._

_Sooo… What do you want to name me? _The pink dragon prompted. _I can't name myself, though I pretty much want to._

'I don't know… Any more suggestions?'

_I just gave you several, and you liked none of them._

'Just two. I also gave two.'

_Yours were lame. I hate fruit. _

'Mine weren't lame,' Galbatorix retorted indignantly.

_They were. And if I could name myself you'd already be calling me Bella and we'd all be happily settled. It's such an awesome name. Why don't you like it? – No wait, don't answer that. And besides, would you just STOP talking out loud? You sound like an ass, talking to yourself._

'Hey!'

_What?_ Both Oromis and Glaedr said.

_See, I told you. Now start mental-chatting, _the unnamed pink dragon demanded.

'I need your Skype address.'

'Sure, here's mine,' Oromis said happily, holding out a piece of paper. 'I just recently made my first account. Glaedr doesn't have one yet.' They both ignored him.

_Nor do I need one, thanks a lot, _said Glaedr.

_Gosh, you two are both such slowcoaches. Either that or there's something seriously wrong with you. I said _mental _conversation, _the pink dragon said to Galbatorix irritably.

_Okay, Okay. You happy now? This feels really weird…_

_Shut up. You and me, we're gonna be doing this for who-knows-how-many hundred years so get used to it already._

_I guess, if we don't die of boredom trying to find you a suitable name._

_Oh, right. My name. I nearly forgot about that. – Wait, did you just mention the word 'boredom', or have my delicate ears mistaken it for 'awe'?_

_How can you forget about your own name? Besides, you don't have any ears._

_Oh shut up, I just didn't realise you two were _that _slow. Now start thinking._

_No fair… _Galbatorix grumbled. Then he shut his mind and sat down.

While Galbatorix thought, the pink dragon busied herself trying to find something to occupy her. First, she tried chatting with Glaedr.

_So… What's it like being a Rider's dragon? How do you put up with Oromis? Where do you live? What kind of stuff do you eat? I reckon you don't eat jerky all the time. Do you guys share meals? I mean like, do you hunt and then you and Oromis share whatever you caught? How many Riders are there? Are there any young dragons like me? Any handsome ones? I'd be so totally bored if there was no one to occupy me. I'd be staying in wherever you guys stay for who-knows-how-long so I might as well get my relations going and all… How many years did it take you to become a qualified Rider – I mean Dragon, or whatever you guys call it? D'you reckon I'd take as much time? Do you have any stereos? I totally ADORE listening to pops. If you guys don't have any, can we buy some on our way there? Don't worry, I know how to fix them. And oh –_

Glaedr gave a frustrated growl. _Are you trying to talk to me or are you babbling to yourself?_

_Talking to you, of course, no thanks to you. No need to be so rude. _The pink dragon glared at Glaedr, her rose eyes glowing. _Ah, never mind. By the way, have you noticed it's Easter tomorrow? Gosh, I should have thought about that. Then I could have waited until tomorrow to come outta my egg and then we could all have had a nice Easter party._

_What are we talking about here?_

The dragon ignored him. _Ah, but anyway I'm not really fond of chocolate. It gets stuck on your teeth and makes them look brown. Have you ever tried?_

_No. What's chocolate again?_

_Whatever. Besides, we're technically both mentally linked to our Riders so it wouldn't be fun Easter egg hunting. I mean, it'll be so obvious. Unless we did the hiding, but I'm thinking you're a bit too big to go on an egg-hunt anyway._

Glaedr ground his teeth.

_What kind of idiot declared we all go Easter egg hunting on Easter, anyway? I thought it was a religious holiday. Oh – do you have a copy of the Bible? Maybe I could check it out to see if it mentions anything about chocolate eggs. I'm pretty sure Jesus Christ didn't go round giving chocolate eggs to people. – Or maybe he did. _The dragon grinned. _Maybe he missed eating his share at the Last Supper but he felt guilty eating chocolate eggs alone so gave it to the people around him as well. What do you think about my theory?_

Glaedr blinked. _Whatever Easter and the Bible and the Last Supper and chocolate are, I'm thinking it's highly improbable anyone will miss eating something you've just described as unpleasant to eat. Besides, you're insulting whoever it is you're talking about._

The pink dragon literally facepalmed – facepawed – and shook her tiny head solemnly. _Ah, God, Amen. Can't you spot a good joke if it jabs you in the eye? How could you know about the Beatles and K-pop and Big Bang but not know about _chocolate_?_

_No idea. I guess… the Elves are anti-diabetes health-food supporters._

_…_

After that the pink dragon gave up trying to talk to Glaedr.

* * *

I know, I know, Easter was quite a while ago... Do me a big favour and just igore that part. To any of you who don't know what a _dragonfruit _is, it's the pink fruit on the cover pic.

Oh btw, thanks a lot if you've been reading this far up to here. Have I mentioned that yet? I hope I have. Lemme go check...

Oh. And please DO review. I always find reviews really heartening, flames or no flames. ;3


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